|Edmonton mayor Stephen Mandel is too busy to know what he's talking about|
Earlier this week in his "Full Pundit" column that comments on commentary from the commentariat, Chris Selley poked fun at the Calgary Herald's editorial board hyperbolic praise of Calgarians for not rioting and noting that this love of peace and order is only found within the city limits. Selley remarked sarcastically that had the flood taken place in Edmonton, the city "would be a smoking hole in the ground at this point, infested with twitchy-eyed, machete-wielding savages."
Whatever you think of the joke, you couldn't possibly take the statement literally, could you?
Apparently, you totally can. The mayor of Edmonton, one Stephen Mandel (no relation to Howie), freaked the fuck out:
"I don't read the National Post. I can see why I don't read the National Post," explains a livid Mayor Stephen Mandel. "I can understand why no one in Edmonton would want to read the National Post."That's right, Chris Selley, Stephen Mandel has never been more insulted in his life!
"I don't think I can express how mad I am in language that I can have over any kind of media," explains Mandel. "The only thing they can do is a front page recanting that they're ignorant and they should not even be allowed to produce newspapers anymore."
Mandel says he's so angry, he'd like to see the city pull its advertising from "POST MEDIA" which includes the Edmonton Journal.
"It was unbelievably demeaning of the city of Edmonton and if that's what they think of the city of Edmonton we shouldn't be advertising in it, we shouldn't be doing anything with them."
That amounts to a substantial amount of money.
'I've got to tell you, I've never been so insulted in my life by something so rude and so despicable," Mandel adds.
Now, bear in mind, the vitriolic mayor didn't quite explain what infuriated him so much that he's foaming at the mouth but do not doubt he's one step away from being "2Pac Hit 'em up" angry!
Everyone else with some measure of sanity was waiting for the mayor to calm down a little after they informed him of the context of the comment.
Fuck that noise, son! Here comes Matt Dykstra of the Edmonton Sun stepping up to the mayor for the story with his iPhone in tow. Despite the shakiest hand ever to hold a phone without being held at gunpoint, he managed to fan the flames of manufactured anger that the mayor was already bloviating about.
Hilariously, the mayor says "Someone said it was supposed to be satirical. I don't find that satirical at all."
And Mike Dykstra sure wasn't going to explain the context. Got to sell copies and make bank!
The result was this glorious cover:
It should be noted that the Edmonton Sun's gravitas is only enhanced by the scantily clad woman with knee-high boots and read lingerie just atop the mayor's photo.
A little bit later, the mayor tweeted
Yes I know it's a joke. Didn't find it funny. As usual Edmontonians help me find the humour. Thanks #machetesomethingyeg.
— Mayor Stephen Mandel (@MayorMandel) June 28, 2013
So the Edmonton Sun is clearly trolling like any good tabloid should considering it's fueled by rage and funded by ignorance. However, the response by the National Post is typical of an excellently trolled victim.
Oh, and the way the Edmonton Sun front-quotes @cselley's money-line without the satirical context is vile & dishonest http://t.co/bfn1NQKvHf
— Jonathan Kay (@jonkay) June 29, 2013
Jonathan Kay also wrote an entire column explaining the one-line joke. Chris Selley, for his part, is retweeting the angry tweets that are going his way in what must be rather frustrating. None of his satirical or earnest columns have received this much attention. It's only through this misunderstood throwaway jibe that his words garnered so much attention thanks to Edmonton's numerous twitchy-eyed, machete-wielding savages... figuratively speaking of course.
Figuratively as they have no attention span.